1.SHOOT THEM TIL THEY DIEEE
Have you ever noticed in shooting games that no matter where you shoot the bad guys they still die....I mean back in the Goldeneye 64 days you could just cough at their feet during a hurricane and a bloodstain would pop up on their greeny green green uniforms. It still happens though in games like FEAR, Halo and Gears of War... you can shoot them in the foot til they die.....I mean if you carry on the theory to its EXTREME (nonsensical) conclusion....which I will....you could just say "I AM GOING TO GO UP TO THAT BAD GUY AND I AM GOING TO PLAY SCRABBLE UNTIL HE DIES." See I told you it wouldn't make sense.
oooooooooohhhhh
2. NON FATALITIES
You know in the Mortal Kombat games they are always flinging swords and flames at each other and nothing happens but that floating red bar above their heads goes down? And then in the fatality they chop each other to a bloody pulp with the same moves they have just been using. So what is this all about then? Is the rest just foreplay? A quick tickle before the deadly thrust. Can you imagine Scorpion going up to Raiden just before a fight and saying "right, so no real choppy ninja sh*t til the guy with the deep voice says so k?" and Raiden's all like "Yeah man, I can dig that shit". I am NOT CONVINCED.
3. BLUE SHELLS
You know the ones, the big blue behemoths of destructive misery. Those swooshing sirens of a thousand lost places.
But could they be more obvious? Waiting until you are nothing more than a mouses eyeball away from the finish line.....then hovering over your head for a split second.....you know so they can savour the kill...then BOOM. before you know it you are in twelfth, Bowser has knocked you off the stage and what's this? I have an item? A big blue shell? WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH THIS? WOOOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHHH.
More of these soon friends, have a great day and good gaming.
You know in the Mortal Kombat games they are always flinging swords and flames at each other and nothing happens but that floating red bar above their heads goes down? And then in the fatality they chop each other to a bloody pulp with the same moves they have just been using. So what is this all about then? Is the rest just foreplay? A quick tickle before the deadly thrust. Can you imagine Scorpion going up to Raiden just before a fight and saying "right, so no real choppy ninja sh*t til the guy with the deep voice says so k?" and Raiden's all like "Yeah man, I can dig that shit". I am NOT CONVINCED.
3. BLUE SHELLS
You know the ones, the big blue behemoths of destructive misery. Those swooshing sirens of a thousand lost places.
But could they be more obvious? Waiting until you are nothing more than a mouses eyeball away from the finish line.....then hovering over your head for a split second.....you know so they can savour the kill...then BOOM. before you know it you are in twelfth, Bowser has knocked you off the stage and what's this? I have an item? A big blue shell? WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH THIS? WOOOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHHHHHH.
More of these soon friends, have a great day and good gaming.
