Commitment to Kinection

Hello, earlier today I was, once again, sat spinning latest gaming news on the rotisserie of eternal cynicism and I thought I would share my thoughts.

Particularly the latest claims from Microsoft that they are '100% committed' to the Kinect and its use with new and upcoming big titles.

To be honest this was not the kind of announcement that was ever going to make me shave my head and stick the hair to my back in the arrangement of a heart shape, but I am glad to see they haven't given up. Firstly though there is one thing about Kinect that needs to be fixed:

IT DOESN'T WORK

During my time with the Kinect it has complained about me being too close, too far, too low, too high, it didn't like my jeans, the room being too dark, too bright, the decor wasn't contemporary enough etc

I was tempted at one point to have a good old fashion, sit down, talk with it to try and persuade it to work, then I thought, "come on, that's ridiculous, it can't understand me....HAHA.....BECAUSE THE VOICE RECOGNITION IS MORE FUSSY THAN A MAN WITH SIX FINGERS IN A GLOVE SHOP".




Don't get me wrong, when Kinect has worked I have actually had quite a lot of fun with it, but sometimes the niggles just seem to get in the way. Another thing, even though I am sure waving my arms about like a disabled gorilla will improve Mass Effect 3 infinitely, I just don't think it is, "the future of entertainment", because we all know the future of video games is Gears 0f War 19, Call Of Duty 56 and Fifa 34.5.........right???

Until next time, good day and good gaming.

GAMING SEX OFFENDERS and other stuff.

So.....I thought I would get this out of the way, this blog is going to be about video games, old and new. From Pac-man to Batman, Zoon to Zelda.

In this first post I thought I would look at some gaming peculiarities that I have stumbled upon along the way.

1. THE ETERNAL RE-KIDNAPPING OF PRINCESS PEACH.

Throughout my life inbetween respawning next to grenades and seeing "game over" screens I have often wondered if Peach keeps getting taken from the same castle....by the same guy......why OH WHY doesn't she just MOVE AWAY FROM THE SEX PEST.

Also in the first Mario game when Mario has to jump over Bowser to cut away the bridge he is standing on with the axe.......why doesn't he just get all medievil up in his grill and chop a brother up??? I mean....not good for the franchise but my god it never stopped Mortal Kombat characters from rising and rising and RISING up from the grave.

Like my mum says "It's a sh*t game when you can't cut heads off"

2. THE IN-COMPETENT DR EGGMAN

When you are running through loop de loops in Sonic the hedgehog did you ever think that if Dr.Eggman went through all the trouble to place all of his traps and his robotic hellspawn cyber death fish all over the place why he didn't think of taking away those tricksy rings THAT KEEP YOU ALIVE........think it through man, THINK IT THROUGH.



Sonic likes his rings, yes sir he doooeeess.

3. RECHARGEABLE HEALTH SYSTEMS

Look, I like these systems....they work well....but for god's sake......Marcus Fenix and company must be looking like some nice swiss cheese by this point.

4. THE EA SPORTS 'IT'S IN THE GAME' GUY

He says it, I say it with him. He says it every year, I say it every year. He has the deepest mostly manly voice in the world, I have a sore throat. Who knew it was EA who singlehandedly funded the throat lozenge companies.

There will be more of these to come in future posts, but for now I hope you enjoyed this first foray into the gaming wilds, til then, good day.