In this first post I thought I would look at some gaming peculiarities that I have stumbled upon along the way.
1. THE ETERNAL RE-KIDNAPPING OF PRINCESS PEACH.
Throughout my life inbetween respawning next to grenades and seeing "game over" screens I have often wondered if Peach keeps getting taken from the same castle....by the same guy......why OH WHY doesn't she just MOVE AWAY FROM THE SEX PEST.
Also in the first Mario game when Mario has to jump over Bowser to cut away the bridge he is standing on with the axe.......why doesn't he just get all medievil up in his grill and chop a brother up??? I mean....not good for the franchise but my god it never stopped Mortal Kombat characters from rising and rising and RISING up from the grave.
Like my mum says "It's a sh*t game when you can't cut heads off"
2. THE IN-COMPETENT DR EGGMAN
When you are running through loop de loops in Sonic the hedgehog did you ever think that if Dr.Eggman went through all the trouble to place all of his traps and his robotic hellspawn cyber death fish all over the place why he didn't think of taking away those tricksy rings THAT KEEP YOU ALIVE........think it through man, THINK IT THROUGH.
Sonic likes his rings, yes sir he doooeeess.
3. RECHARGEABLE HEALTH SYSTEMS
Look, I like these systems....they work well....but for god's sake......Marcus Fenix and company must be looking like some nice swiss cheese by this point.
4. THE EA SPORTS 'IT'S IN THE GAME' GUY
He says it, I say it with him. He says it every year, I say it every year. He has the deepest mostly manly voice in the world, I have a sore throat. Who knew it was EA who singlehandedly funded the throat lozenge companies.
There will be more of these to come in future posts, but for now I hope you enjoyed this first foray into the gaming wilds, til then, good day.
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